When Fear Takes the Wheel: A Personal Story About Phobias

Playing Games with a Spider

 Have you ever felt your heart race just thinking about an insect crawling all over your body? In this blog, you’ll learn what a phobia is and explore various coping strategies. I’m sharing my story in the hopes of offering encouragement and compassion to those struggling with fear.

It is Just a Spider 

So there I was, sitting in my car, waiting at a stoplight—panic-stricken.

You might ask, “Why?” The thing about phobias is that they don’t operate on logic or reason. For most people, seeing a spider may not be a big deal. But for me, it was earth-shattering.

It was a hot summer day, and I was enjoying a peaceful drive in my car... or so I thought. Suddenly, a huge, black, fuzzy spider crawled out of my car vent. I had two options:

1. Let it crawl freely around the car—and possibly on me.

2. Find a way to get rid of this horrid creature!

(Note: To those who love spiders, I apologize—no harm was meant by this tale.)

The funniest part? The car behind me witnessed the whole scene I was creating.

The Counselor vs. The Child

The counselor in me recognized how irrational I was being, while the child in me was paralyzed with fear. You see, phobias are often reinforced by past negative experiences. To truly understand this story, you have to know—this wasn’t my first unpleasant spider encounter.

I tried to make frantic hand gestures to the car behind me to explain my predicament. Looking back now, I realize how ridiculous I must have looked. At one point, I even mimed a spider walking across the dashboard, hoping the other driver could somehow read my mind.

To add even more humor, the driver then saw me open my car door and use a mini broom to sweep the spider out.

Phew... crisis over! 

What is a Phobia?

A phobia can also be referred to as an irrational fear that causes little to no harm. A phobia is an irrational fear of something that typically causes little to no real harm. When our emotions are heightened, the brain has difficulty accessing logic and reason.

There are many types of phobias—fear of insects (like mine), heights, clowns, medical professionals, and more. What they all have in common is their ability to spark anxiety about the unknown. Our minds start to convince us of things that aren’t true. We can feel paralyzed, overwhelmed, and unsure of what to do next.

How to Live with a Phobia?

Although these thoughts can feel relentless, the key is not to let them control your life. Here are a few strategies that may help:

• Try to keep perspective on the situation.

• Ask yourself, “Is this really the worst thing that could happen?”

• Consider: “Is my mind just playing tricks on me?”

• Repeat an encouraging phrase like, “I’m more resilient than I give myself credit for.”

• Remind yourself of past challenges you’ve overcome.

• Take deep breaths, then engage in a healthy, distracting activity—like reading, listening to music, or calling a friend.

• If all else fails, please reach out to a trained professional who can help.

Final Thoughts 

One thing I’ll never forget is when a client once asked me, “If the spider were purple with glitter, would you still be scared of it?”What the client didn’t realize is that they helped me gain a new perspective on my fear.And in all honesty—I still wonder how I’d react.

If this resonates with you, know that you are not alone. At Like a Phoenix, our team is dedicated to providing compassion and support. We use evidence-based clinical approaches to help meet your needs—and to help you rise from whatever challenges you're facing.

Maria Peters, LMHC