Too Hot, Too Cold, Too Loud… Just Let Me Sleep!

Are you a finicky sleeper constantly chasing the perfect bedtime setup?

The sheets are too warm, the air is too cold, the TV is too loud—sound familiar? If finding the right combination to relax and fall asleep feels exhausting, you might benefit from exploring a new sleep routine. In this blog, we’ll delve into the importance of sleep hygiene and explore how small changes can have a significant impact. I’m sharing my personal story to offer encouragement and compassion to anyone struggling with sleep issues.

My Journey with Sleep

Sleep troubles have followed me for years, especially when I was younger. Some nights I could drift off in complete silence and comfort, while other nights, I couldn’t tolerate the room temperature or air quality. Now, as an adult, I realize just how essential quality sleep is. Our bodies and minds need time to recover and regenerate. Without proper rest, even our organs can struggle to function—and don’t even get me started on the emotional toll. I was irritable, anxious, and my tolerance for stress dropped to zero after a rough night.

Let’s look at the different factors that can affect our ability to feel physically and emotionally at ease before bedtime. Just a heads-up: it might take some trial and error to find what works best for you.

Sleeping Environment

Some people need total darkness to sleep; others prefer a bit of light. If you’re a “lights-out” kind of sleeper, blackout curtains can do wonders. If you prefer soft lighting, consider using nightlights, LED strips, or fairy lights to create a cozy ambiance without being overwhelming.

Temperature also plays a huge role. Ideally, you want a room that’s not too hot and not too cold—think Goldilocks: “just right.” If the temperature isn’t ideal, you may find yourself getting up to do battle with the thermostat (guilty as charged). By the time you’re done, you’re wide awake and sleep feels far away.

Noise is another biggie. Some people fall asleep to music or the TV, while others need total quiet. Tools like earplugs, white noise machines, or noise-canceling headphones can help create your ideal soundscape. And don’t underestimate the power of quality bedding—your sheets, comforters, and pillows can make or break your comfort.

Bedding Basics

Texture matters. Higher-thread-count sheets and quality quilts can elevate your sleep experience. Silk or satin pillowcases are not only soothing to the touch but also help regulate temperature, reduce hair frizz, and retain moisture.

The mattress matters too. I once had a client struggling with sleep, and it turned out she was trying to get comfortable on a 20-year-old mattress! Once she upgraded, her sleep improved, her anxiety decreased, and her mood was much better overall. Sometimes the solution is simpler than we think.

Technology and Sleep

We’ve all heard that blue light from screens can mess with our sleep, but how many of us actually follow the advice? Blue light from TVs, tablets, and phones stimulates the brain and delays the release of melatonin, the hormone that signals our bodies it’s time to wind down.

Melatonin is produced in the dark. So if your environment is too bright before bed, your brain may think it’s still daytime. I used to challenge this idea too—until I learned the hard way. Let’s just say: binge-watching suspense thrillers at 1 AM wasn’t helping.

Strategies to Improve Sleep Hygiene

Here are some tried-and-true tips for winding down and setting the stage for better sleep:

• Try gentle stretching or yoga before bed (look up sleep-specific poses)

• Practice meditation or deep breathing

• Listen to sleep stories or apps like Calm or Headspace

• Avoid caffeine at least 5 hours before bedtime

• Limit alcohol or substance use before sleep

• Avoid eating 2–3 hours before bedtime

• Cut back on liquids a few hours before bed

• Read a calming book or listen to soft music—but maybe skip the murder mysteries (trust me, I stayed up all night once just to find out whodunnit!)

If you’ve tried all the above and still struggle with sleep, consider asking your healthcare provider about a sleep study to rule out any underlying disorders.

My Go-To Sleep Trick

One of my favorite techniques is the 4-5-6 breathing method: inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, and exhale for 6 seconds. This activates the parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body relax. I also visualize long, hall-like corridors with numerous doors. I imagine placing each worry or thought behind a door and closing it. Usually, I don’t make it past door number five before I’m sound asleep. It’s like counting sheep—but upgraded!

You’re Not Alone

If any of this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Sleep issues are incredibly common, and you deserve rest that leaves you refreshed and ready to face the day.

At Like a Phoenix, our team is here to support you with compassion and evidence-based clinical care. Whether you’re struggling with sleep or any other challenge, we’re committed to helping you rise.

Maria Peters, LMHC